Italy is a republic, and we like it that way.
miei cari, today I have been staying at home, reading, watching a movie, listening to music and reading newspapers on internet. Too bad I am not a man otherwise I would have also scratched my balls.
While I was reading the newspapers I found out that our so-called king and his semi-demented son have sued the Italian state for something like 250 million euros because in 1946 we made a law forbidding them to come back to Italy. The law was (unfortunately) abolished some years ago, and now they claim that they were phsicologically damaged by the exile. By the way they talk you might think that the poor guys were living for some 50 years under a bridge, having to sell rosted chestnuts and/or ass to pay the rent. Well, actually the truth is that they were living in Switzerland, full of money. You may wonder: where did the money come from? Well, during the second world war, when the Nazis were getting into Roma after conquering the north of Italy and slaughtering people all over, our brave, noble and especially tall king Vittorio Emanuele III (the grandfather of today's idiot) decided to flee from Roma to Brindisi, give himself in to the Allies (which were Italy's enemies up to 2 minutes before), taking everything he could get his hands on on the way and leaving the army without orders and the population to the Nazis. Obviously, being very responsible and brave, it took him 5 days to communicate to his people that, ops, ehm, you remember the Germans? Like the allies we had? Well, ehm, you know, they sort of are not our allies any more... I mean, ehm, no bad feelings, but these American and British chaps look sort of friendlier, and, well, not that we liked wurst too much, to be very honest. And since he was very brave, on top of being very tall, he sent the marshal Badoglio to tell us, perhaps he was too busy having a manicure. Needless to say, the Nazis got slightly pissed and massacred us, i.e. the poor idiots that were not part of the fucking royal family and had no connection to escape. It took us 2 years and some more thousands of people killed and cities destroyed to manage to get out of the war, with a country that had been half demolished, economy in ruins and every family with someone missing (especially in the North). After that, our noble, brave - and did I mention tall? - King figured that he wasn't exactly popular so he tried to bullshit us by putting his son as King. After that, in 1946 we made a referendum, became a republic and managed to kick the bastards out of the country. Enough? No. You might wonder: why the hell you guys went into war to start with? Well, in the 20 years before we had this fancy little dictatorship called fascism, headed by the guy that Gadda, Italy's best writer, rightly called "Mascellone" (big jaw, to compensate for the small brain), i.e. Mussolini. And, you might wonder again: and who the hell allowed Mascellone to get the power? You guessed right: our noble, brave and especially tall King Vittorio Emanuele III. The fucker not only did not send the army when Mascellone made the march on Roma, but also gave him government. And when Mascellone's guys killed Matteotti, a socialist MP, do you think our noble, brave and especially tall King kicked Macellone in the ass and threw him out of the window? No. Even because, being so tall, probably he could have just perhaps managed to give Mascellone a blow job, certainly not a kick in the ass. And, let's see if you guess right, who did NOT oppose Mascellone's racial laws against jews? Yes, our fantastic King. So that all of sudden the Jews, which were nicely integrated, were thrown out of their business and after some time they also started getting deported - at least the ones that we didn't manage to hide, because, for fuck's sake, if our neighbours are nice people, they can be Jew, Catholic, Buddhist and also aliens, but we don't give them to the Nazi because Mascellone decided that we should become Hitler's inflatable dolls-. And then our King decided that being King was not enough; no, he had to become Emperor. So we went and conquered Albania and Ethiopia. And since the Ethiopians for some strange reason did not really wish to become part of the Italian Empire, our noble King allowed our army to go and gas/burn the guys, women and kids included. OK, you say, but why should you punish the sons of the mistakes of the father? Right, his son and the heirs have no fault if the King was an idiot. So, theoretically, it was right that we let them come back in Italy. The only point there is that idiocy seems to be part of the genes of the Savoy family. The so-called King of Italy, Vittorio Emanuele "Prince of Naples", the guy that is asking for the money, was the guy that in the 70s was getting bored on his yatch (again proving how horrible was the "exile") that he decided to get his rifle and start shooting randomly. Too bad that he shot a 17-year old kid. Then some time after he made comments about the racial laws his granddad did not oppose during fascism, saying that, at the end of the day, they were not "that bad". And after having allowed him back in Italy, after not even 4 years he got thrown in jail because for corruption, prostitution and I don't know what else. And in jail, not knowing that he was being tapped, started saying that he had bullshitted the French judges that had convicted him for the murder to the 17-year old kid. So my point is: do we really need more idiots in Italy?
So, there are 2 things we could do:
1) ship them to Switzerland, close them up in their villa in Geneva and make a lake out of the country.
2) every Italian that was in any way damaged by the Savoy family should sue them back for 250 millions. You want to get greedy? We can be much much worse.
While I was reading the newspapers I found out that our so-called king and his semi-demented son have sued the Italian state for something like 250 million euros because in 1946 we made a law forbidding them to come back to Italy. The law was (unfortunately) abolished some years ago, and now they claim that they were phsicologically damaged by the exile. By the way they talk you might think that the poor guys were living for some 50 years under a bridge, having to sell rosted chestnuts and/or ass to pay the rent. Well, actually the truth is that they were living in Switzerland, full of money. You may wonder: where did the money come from? Well, during the second world war, when the Nazis were getting into Roma after conquering the north of Italy and slaughtering people all over, our brave, noble and especially tall king Vittorio Emanuele III (the grandfather of today's idiot) decided to flee from Roma to Brindisi, give himself in to the Allies (which were Italy's enemies up to 2 minutes before), taking everything he could get his hands on on the way and leaving the army without orders and the population to the Nazis. Obviously, being very responsible and brave, it took him 5 days to communicate to his people that, ops, ehm, you remember the Germans? Like the allies we had? Well, ehm, you know, they sort of are not our allies any more... I mean, ehm, no bad feelings, but these American and British chaps look sort of friendlier, and, well, not that we liked wurst too much, to be very honest. And since he was very brave, on top of being very tall, he sent the marshal Badoglio to tell us, perhaps he was too busy having a manicure. Needless to say, the Nazis got slightly pissed and massacred us, i.e. the poor idiots that were not part of the fucking royal family and had no connection to escape. It took us 2 years and some more thousands of people killed and cities destroyed to manage to get out of the war, with a country that had been half demolished, economy in ruins and every family with someone missing (especially in the North). After that, our noble, brave - and did I mention tall? - King figured that he wasn't exactly popular so he tried to bullshit us by putting his son as King. After that, in 1946 we made a referendum, became a republic and managed to kick the bastards out of the country. Enough? No. You might wonder: why the hell you guys went into war to start with? Well, in the 20 years before we had this fancy little dictatorship called fascism, headed by the guy that Gadda, Italy's best writer, rightly called "Mascellone" (big jaw, to compensate for the small brain), i.e. Mussolini. And, you might wonder again: and who the hell allowed Mascellone to get the power? You guessed right: our noble, brave and especially tall King Vittorio Emanuele III. The fucker not only did not send the army when Mascellone made the march on Roma, but also gave him government. And when Mascellone's guys killed Matteotti, a socialist MP, do you think our noble, brave and especially tall King kicked Macellone in the ass and threw him out of the window? No. Even because, being so tall, probably he could have just perhaps managed to give Mascellone a blow job, certainly not a kick in the ass. And, let's see if you guess right, who did NOT oppose Mascellone's racial laws against jews? Yes, our fantastic King. So that all of sudden the Jews, which were nicely integrated, were thrown out of their business and after some time they also started getting deported - at least the ones that we didn't manage to hide, because, for fuck's sake, if our neighbours are nice people, they can be Jew, Catholic, Buddhist and also aliens, but we don't give them to the Nazi because Mascellone decided that we should become Hitler's inflatable dolls-. And then our King decided that being King was not enough; no, he had to become Emperor. So we went and conquered Albania and Ethiopia. And since the Ethiopians for some strange reason did not really wish to become part of the Italian Empire, our noble King allowed our army to go and gas/burn the guys, women and kids included. OK, you say, but why should you punish the sons of the mistakes of the father? Right, his son and the heirs have no fault if the King was an idiot. So, theoretically, it was right that we let them come back in Italy. The only point there is that idiocy seems to be part of the genes of the Savoy family. The so-called King of Italy, Vittorio Emanuele "Prince of Naples", the guy that is asking for the money, was the guy that in the 70s was getting bored on his yatch (again proving how horrible was the "exile") that he decided to get his rifle and start shooting randomly. Too bad that he shot a 17-year old kid. Then some time after he made comments about the racial laws his granddad did not oppose during fascism, saying that, at the end of the day, they were not "that bad". And after having allowed him back in Italy, after not even 4 years he got thrown in jail because for corruption, prostitution and I don't know what else. And in jail, not knowing that he was being tapped, started saying that he had bullshitted the French judges that had convicted him for the murder to the 17-year old kid. So my point is: do we really need more idiots in Italy?
So, there are 2 things we could do:
1) ship them to Switzerland, close them up in their villa in Geneva and make a lake out of the country.
2) every Italian that was in any way damaged by the Savoy family should sue them back for 250 millions. You want to get greedy? We can be much much worse.
posted by alba at
5:49 PM
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