if I shot them in the ass they'd run faster

miei cari, this morning I eventually managed to come back home after 1 month on business trip. I was very eager to get home and then the taxi driver told me that I cannot because there is the fucking Frankfurt marathon. So basically now I am at Jack's place, at least someone gave me shelter. I would like to understand: is it fucking possible that these mutherfuckers block out all the city and I cannot go home????? Is it fucking legal?????????????? And for what? To see a bunch of freaking starved men and women sweating their asses off?? Fuckerrrrrrrsssssssssssss.
This on top of the guy sitting next to me on the plane farting for 1 hour, I was going to ask for a gas mask.
I want to go hooooooooooooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.