El Santo against alcohol

One day El Santo decided to fight against the evils of modern life. This happened one Saturday morning when he received a raging phone call from his ex-wife, La Santa (this is what he called her, all the others called her La Putanona, he could never understand why...). He had gotten drunk like a piece of crap with his friends the night before, somehow managed to get home and had overslept, forgetting to go pick up hos son for their 1-weekend-in-a-month appointment. While he was brushing his teeth and burping tequila, he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed that the night before he had been sick like a dog, unfortunately on his white mantel, which now was kind of greenish. "That's enough!" he said "Humanity can't go on like this!!". He called his ex-wife and told her that this weekend he couldn't go pick up El Moro (his son, who strangely was afro-mexican). He had to change the world! He put his white mantel in the washing machine, and while scratching his balls in front of the tv waiting for the washing machine to finish, he saw an advertisment for liquor. "This is where I will start!" he thought "what better start than destroying alcohol! Noone should forget the appointment with their sons anymore!". And off he went, looking for some alcohol to fight. Well, that was idea, then he had to rush back in in the house since he had forgotten that he was naked and he nearly had his neighbour dying. Not from terror, from laughing (now you can understand why the ex-wife called him El Santino). Anyway, after wearing his second mantel, he went downtown to the bar in which he got wasted the night before. He saw the bottle and, in an athletic burst, managed to throw it on the ground after pushing it for 3 hours. He was going for the other bottles when the bar-keeper, El Tequilaro (brother of the El Tassinaro, they emigrated from Roma), cracked a chair in his ass. The blow was so strong that El Santo ended up in a pile of rubbish in the street. He woke up when a cat peed on him: "You won't stop me, evil Tequilaro!" he shouted "but now I have to go home that I stink of cat's piss" "Not that usually you smell any better, you moron!" replied El Tequilaro "Ma va a morì ammazzato, va!" El Santo sneered at him and off he went.