El Santo against culture

El Santo was shaving his pub(l)ic hair because his white plasticky pants gave him an unconfortable rash, when he suddenly realized what was one of the causes of the evil of modern life. Culture! Weren't we happier when we could not read, write, make 5+6 (unless we had 6 fingers on 1 hand) and crack our brain cells with amenities such as philosophy, matalinguistic and geometry (euclidean or else)? After this revelation, he went to the pub(l)ic library to burn some books. After he got in, he figured out that he had thrown away all his lighters and matches trying not to smoke anymore. Ahh, what was he supposed to do now?? "Never mind" he thought "fighting evil will burst my creativity". He resolutely went to the first shelf, saw a book Dr Spock ("bastard, you and your theories about you shouldn't limit your kid otherwise he won't express his full potential! Now my little El Moro is playing with Barbies! The only son of El Santo!!"), jumped on top of the book and started pushing. After 3 hours, he managed to make the book crash on the ground. This stirred some attention, and the library clerk came running at him. Well, running, not really: she was wearing 15cm heels. And a leather corset. And a see through mini skirt. "What the hell are you doing? Do you want me to get fired? I am trying to straighten up my life, after years of playing cheap tricks on sailors in the harbour!" "Excuse, my lady," said El Santo "I certainly did not intend to cause so much distress. As a compensation for my unexusable behaviour, would you come get a tequila with me?" "Get off, you moron" said the insensible lady "and come down the shelf that you are drawing too much attention!" El Santo stumbled down the shelf, his white pants felling all of a sudden too tight. He shouldn't have shaved, now his bare pub(l)ic parts were scratching painfully on his white outfit! When he reached the ground, he also had to start running, chased by the angry boyfriend of La Marquesa, the library clerk, who was waving a machete to his pub(l)ic parts. After running for 2 km, El Santo could eventually take a breath. "Evil woman" he wispered "you nearly got me to break my resolution not to drink anymore" And off he went, waiting for the next chance to fight evil.